Our miscarriage

Yesterday was a day where the Lord walked with us through the valley of the shadow of death. We had a miscarriage and I hemorrhaged. Well, I am home now and the Lord took our baby but spared me. We wanted to share our testimony of how the Lord helped us. This will not be gory, but just wanted to share how the Lord helped us.

The last week or so there had been some signs but we just prayed and waited, like we did with Joshua for 3 months. After lunch yesterday, it became obvious and I called Dave. We had lined up three appointments to pick up some free items on Craigslist. They were all in the same neighborhood. But it didn't seem wise for me to take the boys out to do that, so Dave decided he could do that.

He came home and warmed up the truck, but I was feeling like something wasn't right, so I asked him to stay. We prayed and waited, and eventually decided to head for a nearby hospital.

We have had a number of trips to the hospital that turned out to be expensive and unnecessary, so we prayed the Lord would make it obvious. I brought my bp cuff in the car and took it as we parked. Bp was low, pulse was high. So we went in.

I was feeling okay, but losing a a lot of blood. We saw the triage nurse and they did a blood test and checked bp and pulse. Pulse was high. Second time they checked blood pressure, it had dropped 40 pts. So they were concerned and told us they'd get us a room and to let them know if I felt dizzy.

Not too much later, I did. Dave let them know, and then things went fast. I passed out, was grey and cold. Dave was with me talking as they wheeled me down to a room. I had lost a lot of blood. I thought I had been awake the whole time, though I recall not being able to see at one point. But Dave said I was out and snoring! I had been thinking of each of our children and of Dave and was just waiting on the Lord.

They inverted me so my head was getting more blood and gave me IV fluids, which were refrigerated and cold. They had some heated blankets which helped with the shaking, but it was a while of waiting. They told me to keep talking and not go to sleep. Dave and I recited James 1, and then a song came to me, which had been a blessing to me while waiting for Joshua to be born:

The joy of the Lord will be my strength
I will not falter, I will not faint
He is my shepherd, I am not afraid
and the joy of the Lord is my strength

So, the Lord gave me peace and helped me. He promises to give grace and peace in our trials and He did it. Praise the Lord.

The hospital's procedure was to verify the baby is gone before doing anything that would harm the baby. So we had an ultrasound. A mother can have a lot of bleeding while still being pregnant, so it doesn't always mean that the baby is gone. So, this gave us a little hope that maybe he or she was still okay, and we waited for a while for the tech to come. But there was no baby on the ultrasound.

The OB doctor we saw was very upbeat and his accent made us think he was from a third world country. When he found out we have 13 children, he asked what religion we were. Mormon? Catholic? No, we told him, we are Christians and we believe the Bible. Next he told us: "You must make sure all your children go to college and get a good education." We told him we had a problem with that, because the colleges don't teach the fear of the Lord, and the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. He replied, "By the age of 7, it has already been inculcated in the child to be good or bad."

After his visit, I was disconnected a little from some things, but given more medicine to help with the bleeding. It was much decreased. I was permitted to go clean up in the bathroom. For the first time, I saw my pale face. Dave said it was actually much improved from before!

I went back to bed and rested and they kept checking my blood pressure and pulse, etc. The nurse was so kind and helpful to us. Actually, everyone was. They noticed when I sat up, my pulse went up a lot, so they gave me more of the IV cold fluids and blankets. I was never given blood, but just fluids for blood volume. After waiting for that to finish, were allowed to go home, with lots of instructions.

We got home very late, after everyone was in bed. We were very thankful and talked a bit about all that had happened.

Dave got me all situated, and cozy. I have been kind of weak, but that is normal. We pray that the Lord will use this in our lives to make us be more in awe of his power and love for us. Life is so uncertain, and we need to live like any moment could be our last. We need to be ready to face our Creator and Judge and Savior.

Today, Giddy asked me, "Did our baby die?" and I said, yes. He said, "Then we will see him in heaven." And then he smiled so hard.